I just got clocked.
Time is a demanding mistress.
I glanced at the clock embedded in the car’s dash. We were making great time. The roads were clear, the weather was good, and all of my video gear was packed.
My wife and I were making our way to Georgia to shoot a wedding video for a very good friend of mine I had known since high school. As all of my classmates started graduating college, it wasn’t long before some of them started asking me if I would produce their wedding videos. At that point in my life (mid-20s) I still kept in touch with a lot of them and they knew I worked in video.
I was still trying to make a go of it as an independent video producer (I say “independent video producer” because somehow “full-time freelancer” sounds like an oxymoron), and any video business I could get was welcome.
We got off the interstate and started making our way to the church via two-lane country highways and local surface streets. That was when our navigation faltered.
One missed turn. Doubled back.
Can’t find the right road. Stop to check the directions and cross-reference with the map.
Another missed turn.
It was getting frustrating and stressful. I could feel my chest tighten and my heart rising slowly into my throat. The panic was trying to escape and I did my best to swallow it all down. I comforted myself with the reassurance that in all of my preparation, I made sure to pad in some extra travel time. You know, just in case. Which meant that despite the unplanned detours, my wife and I would still make it in plenty of time to unload and set up in the sanctuary.
We finally pulled up to the church building and my body temperature started returning to normal. My friend (the bride) was outside the church building with all of her bridesmaids surrounding her. I hopped out with a big smile on my face and waved, genuinely happy to see her. After all, since high school graduation I didn’t see many of my old friends anymore.
I remember asking her something to the effect of “How are you?” or “How’s it going?” But even though I don’t remember exactly what I said, I do remember the look in her eyes. And it wasn’t a happy one. She looked… stressed? frustrated? angry?
Uh oh. Probably just the stress of the day. Plus, she didn’t have time to chat with me. She was occupied with a million other things. So, my wife and I unloaded our gear and walked into the church and up the stairs to the balcony.
We were unpacking the gear and setting up one of our cameras when all of a sudden processional music started playing.
Processional music?
I peered over the railing of the balcony and saw that family members were being escorted down the aisle. I looked at my watch. What was going on? Why were they starting the ceremony one hour earlier than… ?
Oh no! That’s when it finally hit me.
We were in Georgia… On Eastern Time!
I couldn’t believe it. In all the time I spent preparing; double, triple checking everything, I had completely forgotten that I would lose an hour from Central to Eastern time. How could I have been so stupid.
We rushed to set everything up. I hurried downstairs to get my camera in position. Unfortunately we missed the wedding party coming in, but we were able to shoot the actual ceremony. A small consolation to my very good friend, I know, who had paid me to be there.
It was hard to get through the rest of the day, but I managed. I felt terrible, and I’m sure my friend was disappointed. In fact, I know she was disappointed because weeks later when I delivered the final edit we spoke and she told me how disappointed she was in the video and how she thought it would have been more professional.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. I felt so bad. This individual and I had been very good friends in high school and I had let her down. But worse than that, I might have ruined the friendship.
So many lessons learned here.
You’ve never prepared enough. When you’re planning for anything, go over the details again and again. But even if you check a thousand-and-one times, you could still overlook something. So bring in extra sets of eyes. Have those people go over it with you. What did you miss? Where are the blind spots? I definitely believe the experiences I went through early in my career are the reasons why I’m very obsessive compulsive today, not only in my professional life, but in my home life as well. Yes, that can be a negative. But it also helped me become so detail-oriented that even now my co-workers will seek me out from time to time because I’m so detail-oriented.
Use caution when doing business with close friends. Yes, my mistake would have been costly even I hadn’t been working for a close friend, and my guilt still would overwhelm me, but there was just something about letting down a really good friend that seemed to make the situation that much worse. So be careful if a good friend asks you to work for him/her on a project. What’s more important to you: the money or the relationship?
In the 23 years since, I’ve stayed in contact with my friend, mostly on Facebook, and even there we don’t speak much to each other directly. I’ll see her photos from time to time and get an idea of what she and her family are up to these days. I don’t know if she ever sees anything I post. I hope that she’s forgiven me for the mistake I made so long ago and that she would still consider me a friend. The only thing I can do is just put all of it behind me and not worry about it anymore.
So why write about it and dig it all up again?
Well, for one, I do it for you, the reader. I’m hoping that through these personal essays you might avoid the mistakes I made and find success in your own life and career.
Second, I think it’s a kind of therapy for me; a way to assess, evaluate, cope, and to find the “why” of it all. And maybe by finding the why, the benefits these experiences bring to my life now will come into sharper focus.